“In Google We Trust” – The Genesis of SEO.

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“In Google We Trust” at least that’s what we hope. But it all had to start somewhere.

This is SEO at its core. This is the beginning. This is Genesis…

¹ First Google made Algorithms and Indexes

²The Web was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the pages; and the Spirit of Google was moving over the IP range of the Web.

³ And Google said, “Let there be PageRank“; and there was PageRank.

⁴ And Google saw that the SERPs were good; and Google separated the Unique from the Duplicate.

⁵ Google called the Unique: Content, and the Duplicate he called SPAM. And there was unique content and there was SPAM, one day.

⁶ And Google said, “Let there be a firmament in the midst of the Web, and let it separate the Websites from the Websites.”

⁷ And Google made the firmament and separated the websites which were under the firmament from the websites which were above the firmament. And it was so.

⁸ And Google called the firmament the ‘Sandbox’. And there was index and there was Sandbox, a second day.

⁹ And Google said, “Let the websites under the SERPs be gathered together into one place, and let the index appear.” And it was so.

¹⁰ Google called the index ‘Search Engines’, and the websites that were gathered together he called Results. And Google saw that it was good.

¹¹ And Google said, “Let the webmasters put forth pages, content yielding links, and information bearing fruit in which is their value, each according to its relevance, upon the index.” And it was so.

¹² The webmasters put forth pages, content yielding links, and information bearing fruit in which is their value, each according to its relevance, upon the index. And Google saw that it was good.

¹³ And there were indexes and there were results, a third day.

¹⁴ And Google said, “Let there be a guiding light in the firmament of the SERPs to separate the right from the wrong; and let them be for signs and for queries and for questions and answers,

¹⁵ and let them be a light in the firmament of the SERPs to give answers upon the webmasters.” And it was so.

¹⁶ And Google made the great light,  and he named this light ‘Matt Cutts’.

¹⁷ And Google set him in the firmament of social media to give access to the webmasters to bring light upon the SERPs,

¹⁸ to rule over the questions and over the answers, and to separate the right from the wrong. And Google saw that it was good.

¹⁹ And there was an answer to the questions; and there was Social access to Matt, a fourth day.

²⁰ And Google said, “Let the content bring forth swarms of living creatures, and let Tweets fly above the earth across the firmament of the heavens.”

²¹ So Google created Facebook and … Twitter, with which the creatures swarm, according to their @mention, and every tweet according to its hashtag . And Google saw that it was good.

²² And Google blessed them, saying, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the websites in the indexes, and let Tweets multiply on the earth.”

²³ So Google created Internet Marketers. And there was IM and there was SPAM, a fifth day.

²⁴ And Google said, “Let the content bring forth relevant links according to their kinds: Web2.0 and Forum profiles and values of the link according to their dot extension” And it was so.

²⁵ And Google made the beasts of the indexes  according to their kinds; .edu or .gov and the rest according to their kinds, and everything that creeps upon the Akismet according to its kind. And Google saw that it was good.

²⁶ Then Google said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness; and let them have control over the Browsers  of the indexes, and over the ‘Like’-ability of the content, and over the ability to see, and over all the internet, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the desktop (the mouse).”

²⁷ So Google created man in his own image, in the image of Google he created him; male and female he created them.

²⁸ And Google blessed them, and Google said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, for I shall call you Traffic.”

²⁹ And Google said upon the Webmasters, “Behold, I have given you Traffic” And they saw that it was good.

³⁰ And to every piece of the content, and to every ReTweet, and to everything that is Shared on the Internet, I shall Monetize.” And it was so. And Google created Adsense.

³¹ And Google saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was Traffic and there was Adsense, a sixth day.

³² Thus the Indexes and the Algorithms were finished, and all the host of them.

³³ And on the seventh day Google finished his work which he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had done.

³ So Google blessed the seventh day and hallowed it, because on it Google rested from all his work which he had done in creation.

*This text comes from the long lost scriptures that were found hidden amongst the ‘Alta Vista Scrolls’ and therefore I cannot accept any responsibility for any persons who may or may not have been offended by this transcript.

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