I’ll Never be an Internet ‘Guru’ Because I Never Lived in a Van.

by Alex on April 15, 2013

Empower Network and MLM and why they are all ponzi douche bags

This is a post about Multi Level Marketing (MLM) systems, and why newbies to internet marketing are some of the most ignorant people to ever enter the workforce.
To be honest, this whole post is actually directed at Empower Network, and the fucking idiots I have to deal with on social media day in and day out.

**Edit – Any and all anger in this post is directed not at these new ignorant members but to those in the upper echelons of the organisation, especially those experienced marketers who leveraged their huge lists and following to sign up thousands of fools – Increasing their own income in the process and further bolstering the (supposed) credibility of Empower Network with their Testimonials and income disclaimers… They clearly do NOT care about their readers, have no morals or business ethics, and really – should have known better.

But before I begin this rant , based entirely on common sense and logic (oh sorry, it appears I have already begun) let’s start with a question…

Who’d happily fleece you for every penny you had, robbing you of your dignity and self worth in the process  just so they could make an extra buck?  David Wood :)

I’d also like to take this time to direct you to one of the most thorough and honest (not to mention well written and totally enjoyable) posts on Empower Network I have ever read. The post comes from Ana Hoffman, the woman behind TrafficGenerationCafe.com and a long time friend of mine. Her post really does summarise Empower Network beautifully and indirectly showcases her genuine interest in helping others succeed.*

*If Ana Hoffman was not genuinely interested in your success then she would have capitalised on her enormous following and sold you tickets to the front row of this circus – making a crapload of money off of your ignorance in the process.

Let’s start by applying some common logic – something that slowly ebbs away you when you go through the 6 thousand sales pages that Empower Network throw at you…

How Good Do You Think You Are?!?

Regardless of your answer, the harsh reality is that you are not THAT awesome. Let’s remove ourselves from the online world for a minute…

I assume you didn’t become a 7 figure real estate broker without first learning the ins and outs of the property market and everything related to it. right?
I can also assume that had you decided to become a sales rep (a job that requires no prerequisite skills) you would have had to work your way up the ranks, making connections with those that mattered and honing your sales and marketing techniques until you totally rocked.

Same goes for affiliate marketing and MLM…..and this is where I am against Empower Network  because like other ‘big opportunities’ they talk about earning potentials and get you all excited but at no stage do they remind you to look at the reality – that NO ONE can enter into a new area or job and suddenly become awesome. Nope, not even me (I know hey?!)

**Real estate, Banking, Sales, …Internet Marketing – it’s all the same, you need to learn, practice, develop a skillset and then hone a system before you see any success.**

Why MLM marketers think this rule does not apply to them is beyond me.

Old Spice Guy hates MLM too

Remember the Old Spice guy (who can forget, right ladies 😉 )  “Look at me, I’m on a horse”
It was funny because it was so random and irrelevant.

BUT when you get some ‘Guru’ saying “Look at me, I’m on a beach… in Costa Rica” you go oooooooh, I’m so going to buy whatever he’s selling so I too can be on a horse, I mean a beach. WTF?!

How many of you watched the Old Spice ad and instantly thought, I’m there, totally getting on a horse so I too can be toned and smell awesome.? No one? Anyone? Bueller?
Why is the answer a resounding no? because logic and reasoning take over and you laugh for what it is and move on….

BUT not when you’ve heard 437.5 people talk about how they made $37,892.10 in their first 30 days your brain starts to release ‘stupidity juice’ until it slowly takes over any logic and reasoning you may have had.

Maybe after the first 5 ‘testimonials’ you might have started thinking logical things like “so what exactly is the product? – what is the service? Is there a system? Yes, 30k is nice, but please explain how… to a point of course.

Empower Network Douche Bag

I don’t have to explain shit, I mean look at me, I’m in a hammock!

And then, 432 and a half testimonials later and all you can think about is how the sand would feel between your toes, and how nice that mocktail thing he’s drinking would taste. I mean ask yourself – what ARE they selling you?

Air is Free! Why Would You Pay For It!?

Let’s be honest here – they are selling NOTHING!…Thin Air! That’s what. No wait, it’s the opportunity to sell thin air, sorry!
If I farted in a bottle would you buy it? Why not? It’s got about as much substance as the Empower Network offer has and it probably contains less fecal matter too! When it’s put like that it is easy to laugh it off, but when you’ve been bombarded with BS sales pitches and video after video of incessant crap your brain does a fart of its own.

Logic, like Elvis has left the building….

And now they have the green light to attack, sorry – I mean upsell (always get them confused)

This post, like most Multi Level Marketing schemes has no real point to it, nor does it contain much value – but then isn’t that the point?!


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