The Bluebird and the Cannibal Goldfish. A love story.

by Alex on October 17, 2010

twitter tips, angry fish and Google traffic - a random guide

It’s time for some randomness from the Keyword Blogger! I love random, and although there are a number of posts in the back burner as we speak ready to get all serious on you and talk link building strategies and other insanely exciting topics – I felt that first I needed to just ramble. I’m good at rambling. I reckon I am going to be the most irritating octogenarian in history, why I’ve already started saving all my 5 cent pieces – because that’s how I’ll be paying for EVERYTHING! So then…

I bought a fishtank!

It is a 40L tank, which is about the size of a microwave in normal human talk – and it’s awesome! We bought three Goldfish and one black fish with Googely eyes. He’s always searching for things in the tank, which I refer to as ‘indexing’. I named him Google πŸ™‚
We have a striped goldfish who does the same thing as Google. I wanted to call him Yahoo! but my wife told me to

“Keep your stupid internet out of Harrison’s fishtank”

That’s fair enough too I guess. She called him Dart. Turned out we should have called him Dr. Lecter or something because last week he ATE one of the other fish!?!? (WTF)

How I lost 200Lbs Blogging!

And that would totally be the title of my next post if I was A: even close to 200Lbs, and B: wasn’t selling my treadmill. But I am – want to buy it?
A lot can be said for the power of personality in your posts, but I’m not sure the same can be said for sales copy. See for yourself what happens when I get told to sell the wife’s treadmill, and am them left unsupervised! I can almost guarantee you won’t want to buy the thing, but there’s a good chance you’ll burn a few callories laughing πŸ™‚

My Treadmill Ad on eBay

fuck google, ask me for traffic tips

I want this shirt!

Google can be my Guest.

I’ve contributed two awesome articles to fellow bloggers this week for publication, which both had Google in the title. Ummm – not intentional, but then it’s not like Google isn’t kind of like some kind of big company – you know, like. Here they are in all their glory, click ’em if the title appeals to you, otherwise – please continue to move along the carriage to allow others to enter, thanks.

Twee Twerwific Twitter Twipstweety's twitter tips for traffic

Bring old posts back to life!

I installed a plugin called Tweet Old Posts recently and I cannot recommend it highly enough. Tech wise I simply installed it and that was it. The funny thing is that I forgot I installed it, so when I asked a follower how they came about an old post of mine, they LOL’s at me and said they simply RT’d my tweet. “Oh yeah, that’s right – I installed that plug-in d’uh”

Since installing this plugin I have noticed a huge increase in the number of comments to older posts, as well as a massive increase in the overall RT count of all posts. You want more traffic – install this plugin, simple really.

Increase your Twitter Presence

Again I’ll get straight to the point. I outlined in this post How to get more Targeted Twitter Traffic how I follow those who are following big names in my niche, but an even more targeted trick involves guest blogging. Guest blogging in itself is a very powerful way to get traffic and spread your brand – I am living proof ( I keep telling myself anyway) but one way to leverage this is with Twitter.

If you guest post on a blog and then follow those following the blog owner, you will get a much more response follow back rate, as well as more active and responsive followers. I won’t explain why or how this works because it should make perfect sense.

Stand out from the Twerps

standing out on TwitterReTweeting is awesome and should be encouraged. I’d Tweet that – but i…anyway the thing is, everyone does it – all the time, so to stand out you need to make an impression, and what better way than be adding value at the same time. When you hit the RT button you get an editable pop up window. Edit it!
I always make an effort (OK not always) to edit the ReTweet so that it contains something of value that pertains to the post. Sometimes I will be (try to be)funny, other times I will simply rewrite the entire Tweet to say what I felt the post was about – either way, so long as you see the @theperson in the RT they will see it, and if they happen to be looking, I guarantee you will get a reply πŸ˜‰

I’ll be back in a few days with another update – and then it’s back to link building. Yay! Fun fun (groans)


Moon Hussain October 17, 2010 at 7:00 AM

You know I’ll be reading the Sandbox Effect article Alex. We have to catch up damnit, you’re always running off!

Madav @ tech tips October 17, 2010 at 7:17 AM


Me also tried the twitter old post plugin,in my experience I would like to say that the twitter old post plugin not worked well for me.I got surprised that you saying you got better results with it.I don’t know what mistake I done .
Any way thanks for the post.

Regards |Madav

Alex October 18, 2010 at 11:59 PM

Now you got me worried LOL!
No, so far so good Madav.

Murlu October 17, 2010 at 10:12 AM

In complete randomness too – I was thinking of picking up a fish tank recently cause I saw these fish that glow under black lights – get like 100 of them, that would be bomb. I was also thinking of getting those algae that light up when they are disturbed, put a big ass subwoofer under the fish tank it’ll sync to the music πŸ˜›

Other than that, gonna check out the plugin – don’t have many posts but figure it’ll help either way.

Alex October 19, 2010 at 11:59 PM

LOL You’re an idiot. Much respect to you for it too I might add πŸ™‚

Actually, you’re not an idiot at all. The more I think about it, the more ….no, actually – you’re an idiot.
Ha ha! thanks for your randomness brother, loves it.

Michael October 17, 2010 at 11:33 AM

Hahahahaha! Thanks for another belly aching post and best selling headline!

Look forward to the forthcoming tips, tricks and tyranny πŸ™‚


BTW: you have two titles in the best selling headlines this week post!

Alex October 19, 2010 at 11:56 PM

Two titles?!?

Woo Hoo!!
Pressure mounting, I’m going for a hat trick soon baby!

Patricia@lavenderuses October 17, 2010 at 1:24 PM

Alex my sides are still hurting from laughing so much….you missed your calling. Should have been a journo and then the headlines would at least have cheered us up πŸ™‚
Off to read your guest posts now. Clever as well as funny lol
Patricia Perth Australia

Alex October 19, 2010 at 11:55 PM

Thanks for the awesome comment Patricia!
I think the Journo’s would have been scared off. Maybe I could become a Chaser?

(Only you and Michael and a few others will get that Pat, but the beautiful thing is – it still makes sense!)

Steve@Lifestyle Design October 17, 2010 at 7:43 PM

Holy Cow!

The title alone is worth the price of admission.

well admission is free….but it would be worth the price of admission if there were a price. I think that makes sense.

I had seen your treadmill ad when you posted it on facebook. Very funny stuff, I guess it didn’t sell and perhaps the wife is -not amused- huh. lol

Like meeting a crazy person by pretending to be even crazier, the only way to really respond to randomness is with even more randomness. So here goes:


…random huh. here is the story. Last week was 10/10/10, which in Binary is 42. 42 is the answer to “Life, the Universe and Everything” from Douglas Adams classic book. Random enough?

Alex October 19, 2010 at 11:53 PM

OMG that fact is just mind bogglingly awesome (as is the word ‘bogglingly’ I have just decided)
I love Douglas Adams, and that little fact relating to 42 is awesome!
Even more so because my daughter was born 09/09/09 which in binary is ‘not 42’ AMAZING!

We should meet for coffee to discus this further Steve, I heard there is a great Restaurant at the end of the Universe…

Dennis@Iconlover October 18, 2010 at 3:31 AM

A nice ad πŸ™‚
But what about the bluebird you’ve mentioned in the title?

Alex October 18, 2010 at 11:56 PM

Thanks Dennis.

What about the blue bird? What about the blue bird!?!!

Twitter man!

Daniel Sharkov@Blogging Tips October 18, 2010 at 3:44 AM

Fishtanks, gold fishes, sharks… LOL! That is what I call random Alex. And still a great article haha!

Your guest post on the sandbox effect is definitely a great addition. Really liked it.

Now about the plug-in: I have read maybe 3 or 4 articles on that Tweet old posts plug-in just in the last week alone. Seems like it is something big. Shame I’m on the Blogspot platform, where such cool things can hardly be found.

Looking forward to your next post on link building! πŸ™‚

Alex October 19, 2010 at 11:50 PM

Thanks Dan, always appreciate the comments and support man.
Actually putting together a killer link building series as we speak. It won’t be free unfortunately πŸ™

Frieke Karlovits October 18, 2010 at 5:08 AM

You have a real knack for writing πŸ™‚ I really enjoyed!


Alex October 18, 2010 at 11:57 PM

Thanks Frieke! (not my most eloquent response – how ironic πŸ˜‰ )

Twitter Presence October 18, 2010 at 10:42 AM

You’ve made great points! I would also say, focus in building those relations and not so much in the number of followers if you just focus on building followers you may end up with big number of non listeners πŸ˜‰

Alex@Jocuri October 19, 2010 at 2:11 AM

Hey Alex,
Nice post to get you out of the daily routine (link building, sandboxes etc).
LoL at your ebay description. I can see you already have a bid, good job. And you kept the funny writing even when answering that question .
By the way, a better name for the fish that ate the other (you know the fish you wanted to name Yahoo) should have been called Bing and the fish which was eaten should have been called Yahoo.

P.S. What does your cousin Bill do with the silicon, creepy!

Alex October 19, 2010 at 11:48 PM


LOL at your comment man, THAT is up there for thinking! hahahaha very fitting names indeed – all things considered πŸ˜‰
Thanks for enjoying the eBay add, always glad to see my sad sad humour enjoyed by others, and in regards to the response, c’mon the guy used ‘jerking occasionally’ in a sentence. I may be 32 but my brain is still 15 so I couldn’t resist πŸ™‚

If I had a cousin Bill I would probably stay well clear of him I think.

Thanks for your awesome comment ‘he with the awesome name’

Adam Paudyal October 19, 2010 at 3:58 AM

Great article and some awesome points you have made here mate..

Couldn’t stop Laughing when I read the headline…

Going to check out the plugin now and then your guest post..


Alex October 19, 2010 at 11:45 PM

Ha ha, awesome Adam!

Glad you enjoyed it, I still can;t get over the fact that a goldfish managed to eat another fish. It has no teeth man! That thing must suck like a … never mind. πŸ™‚
Thanks for your support as always brother – much respect.

Thiru@webappdirectory October 19, 2010 at 7:03 PM

Informative blog in a lovely way Alex. Fabulous to read ! Looking forward more like this from you…

good day !

Alex October 19, 2010 at 11:32 PM

Thanks Thiru!

have an awesome day!

cyberdv8 December 2, 2010 at 10:03 PM

lesson 1,(this ones for you) gold fish will always eat other gold fish that’s how they get to be big gold fish before the kids dump in all the fish food and they go belly up
lesson 2, (this ones for me) NEVER drink hot coffee while reading blogs in case you start laughing hysterically about fish as you may just burn your self and be laughed at by your teenage son as coffee exits your nasal cavity and he threatens to take video on his phone for facebook (Never good for for one’s ego).

Alex December 4, 2010 at 9:14 PM


Cyberdv8 December 4, 2010 at 10:11 PM

knew that would make you laugh, but was it fish or coffee PMSL?

Shane Ryans March 18, 2011 at 7:02 AM

Too funny, I can’t believe the fish ate the other one. Did he have and Cianti?

Fabian@Vanzari auto August 11, 2012 at 1:00 AM

Me also tried the twitter old post plugin,in my experience I would like to say that the twitter old post plugin not worked well for me.I got surprised that you saying you got better results with it.I don’t know what mistake I done .
Any way thanks for the post.

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